It’s been two weeks since my baby became three years old. Awww!

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Isn’t he just precious? I feel like he is one of my biggest accomplishments in life. I would do anything for him. Every time I look upon his face my heart becomes over joyed with love and admiration for how smart, amazing, and vivacious he is for life. I could not imagine not seeing hi grow up into the man he will be one day, walking across that graduation stage, getting married and having children of his own.

When I was his exact age (three years, two weeks old) my mom had a car accident. Her car ended up top down in the the irrigation canal half a mile outside of the Naval Air Base in our home town. As the base was in the middle of nowhere NV she was there for a couple hours before someone noticed her little red car in the water. The water was so cold her body went into a hypothermic state, and started shutting down slowly. It took paramedics 45 minutes to get to the water, and get her outside of the car and do CPR, they worked on her a long time before she sputtered up water and took a breath.

While the paramedics were working on her police and base firefighters were searching the water for her three kids because they saw that there were car seats in the back and were afraid we were with her. Gratefully, my siblings and I were safely with our dad at home. As soon as we got the call though that something had happened we went to the scene. I saw my mom look like the pale blue-white of a person, and them pushing on her chest. This is my earliest memory. It was quite traumatic especially since I wanted to go a tell them to stop hurting her. As they loaded her onto the gurney and took her away everyone was crying and trying to hold us.

After that she was never the same again. She was down so long without oxygen that she has permanent brain damage. She remembers everything about her life up until the point of her accident-graduating, joining the Navy, getting married and having three children, but nothing past her accident. Growing up she would ask for her children all the time (showing that she loved us a great deal) but it was heartbreaking to tell her over and over again that I was her child, and be denied, or her ask me who I was.

Now that I’m over 21 years old and have a child that is the same age as I was when something traumatic happen, I am afraid of the past repeating. I saw how hard it was on my dad having to be a single parent with a disabled spouse. Along with growing up with a disabled parent and the toll it took on me to explain it to explain to the kids in my class what happen and that she isn’t like their moms. The really hard times are actually good times in my life-graduation, wedding, birth of my children, etc. because I know that she won’t remember.

Looking at my son, I am afraid of never seeing and being apart of those wonderful moments. I hug him and tell him I love him everyday because I truly do.

Please, hug a kiss your kids every single day, go out of your way to tell them that you love them, because in an instant your ability could be taken away.

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