Let me start out by saying that I love my husband with all my heart and soul, cannot imagine my life without him in it, and I appreciate him for his thoughtfulness and sincerity. There are a few things within this last day or so that have been driving me bat crazy.
I get home yesterday from working midnight to eight in the morning and right when I get in all I hear is, “Jakie! Jakie! JAKIE!” and a baby crying upstairs. I hadn’t even put my stuff down from working an eight hour shift and was already being yelled at. I go upstairs to find that 1) my Rew baby was hungry, duh 2)Ryan had not gotten the turkey out an hour before, and 3)he was tired. Let’s take this one point at a time.
I knew Rew was hungry because the night before I had gotten out enough breastmilk to feed him throughout the night until 7:00 A.M. so that when I got home I could feed him myself, I don’t even pump after 7 so that I have enough when I get home to nurse him right away.
Why couldn’t he take the turkey out? I was just asking him to get up at 7:15 just long enough to go downstairs, take the turkey from the refrigerator, put it in the roasting pan. Done. Nothing more than that. He could go upstairs and go to sleep if he wanted or he could just stay down stairs. He couldn’t do it for some unknown reason. I was not asking him to prep the turkey and make sure it was in the oven by the time I got home.
The last and final point: he was tired. Ok. Great. I understand this concept. I am tired, too! I have been up for eight hours straight handling emergency calls during the hours of sleep. Before I went to work I had tried to take a nap but Gobby, my two year old, kept climbing into bed with me waking both me and Rew up. So instead of napping I was trying to get Gobby to sleep in his own bed and calm Rew down. Where was Ryan? He was down stairs doing any number of possibilities because he needs “Ryan Time”. He did come up and try to help get Gobby to bed but didn’t stay long. By the time Gobby went to sleep at 11:00 P.M. I got about 30 minutes of “sleep” before getting ready for work. So while “Ryan Time” was going on I was not sleeping. So he was tired. Since he feels that his personal time is more important than my sleep he should get up when I get home. But that does not happen he tells me that since I’m already up that I am to go downstairs and take care of the boys and get the turkey ready. Um……thanks.
As I love my husband and don’t want to fight with him over trivial matters, I just went down stairs. As I was leaving he says, “Thank-you, Jakiebunches” which I couldn’t help reply with: “Why are you thanking me? You aren’t really giving me a choice because if I push to going to sleep and you take care of the boys it will just end up with us fighting and being mad at each other, or I go downstairs and take care of the boys being miserable”
Two hours later at around 10:00 after giving Gobby breakfast, nursing Rew and then getting the turkey prepped and in the oven I go upstairs to wake Ryan up and take a nap myself he says that I can “nap later” and rolls over. I am steamed by this point in time. I wanted to yell at him to get his butt out of bed and let me get some sleep. Instead I walk down stairs and play with Gobby.
At noon Ryan comes down the stairs all disheveled. This is our conversation.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“Did I get a call?”
“I don’t know”
He quickly goes to the computer and checks. Turns out he missed a call from his work because I didn’t have the computer on. I told him I was sorry, that I was going upstairs to take a nap with Rew, and for him to not open the oven to “check” the turkey.
Two glorious hours later the alarm goes off for me to check the turkey. Ryan tells me that he had just finished two job applications. I am overjoyed. I also check my job application status and find that I have one that I haven’t filled out. While I’ll filling it out Ryan is helping me word things the right way. One question infuriates me, “What date should I put for when I’m available to start working?” “Any date that you want” is the only response that I received. I was thinking that I want to put a date that is close enough to still be in the hiring pool, and yet far enough away so that if I get the job we have enough time to pack up and move. I put Feb 1.
While eating dinner at 4:00 P.(I know, we eat like old people) I ask Ryan to clean the table, take the meat off the bones, and do a load of dishes. Cleaning cleaning the table is not problem, but taking the meat off the bones and loading the dishes are issues. I didn’t argue. By this time I needed to get some more sleep before midnight and another eight hour shift.
During my wonderful shower with Rew in his rocker and Gobby in the shower with me Ryan comes into the bathroom and gets in the shower with us and rubs my back. That was the nicest thing he could have done.
I really love my husband. He puts up a lot from me. I nag a lot. We are still working on our communication skills. We are still working on ourselves.